Pornbots and Spam

This is a tribute to/parody of Dr. Seuss' wonderful children's book, Green Eggs and Ham (which actually is great for any age!). This is a 21st Century tribute based on the plague of pornbots/spambots on Twitter.

Seriously, if you have never read Green Eggs and Ham, or ever got into Dr Seuss, do it.

Legal: I’m not intending to get into any legal trouble writing this. If you wish for me to take down this blog post, please email me at storiesforfun@gmail.com and it will be removed within 14 days.

I am spam.

Spam I am.

That Spam-I-am!
That Spam-I-am!
I do not like
that Spam-I-am!

Do you like pornbots and spam?

I do not like them,
Spam-I-am.
I do not like
pornbots and spam.

Would you like them
on your screen?

I would not like them on my screen.
Kids would find this stuff obscene.
I do not like pornbots and spam.
I do not like them,
Spam-I-am.

Would you like them on a Mac?
Would you like to rub my back?

I do not like them on a Mac.
I do not want to rub your back.
I do not like them on my screen.
Kids would find this stuff obscene.
I do not like pornbots and spam.
I do not like them,
Spam-I-am.
Would you like to click my link?
Would you like to see some pink?
Not click a link.
Not see some pink.
Not on a Mac.
Not rub your back.
I would not want them on my screen.
Kids would find this stuff obscene.
I would not like pornbots and spam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
On your iPhone?
Have them! Have them!
Hear me moan!

I would not, could not, on my iPhone.

Please don’t try to be annoyed,
You can see us on an Android!

I would not, could not, on my iPhone.
Or an Android. You leave me alone!
I do not want to click a link.
I do not want to see some pink.
I do not want them on a Mac.
I do not want to rub your back.
I do not want them on my screen.
Kids would find this stuff obscene.
I do not like pornbots and spam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

A PC! A PC!
Whee! On a PC!
Could you, would you,
On a PC?

Not on a PC! Not on an Android!
Not on my iPhone! Sam, I am annoyed!

I would not, could not, click a link.
I would not, could not, see some pink.
I will not want them on a Mac.
I will not want to rub your back.
I will not want them on my screen.
Kids would find this stuff obscene.
I do not like pornbots and spam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

Say! With your friends!
Here with your friends!
Would you, could you, with your friends?

I would not, could not, with my friends.

Would you, could you, with family?

I would not, could not, with family.
Not with my friends. Not on a PC.
Not on my iPhone, not on Android.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not click a link. Not on a Mac.
Not see some pink. Not rub your back.
I will not want them on my screen.
Kids would find this stuff obscene!

You do not like pornbots and spam?

I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

Could you, would you, take a blitz?

I would not, could not, take a blitz!

Would you, could you, suck my tits?

I could not, would not, suck your tits.
I will not, will not, take a blitz.
I will not see them with family.
I will not see them on a PC.
Not with my friends! Not on Android!
Not on an iPhone! I’m so annoyed!
I do not want to click a link.
I do not want to see some pink.
I do not want them on a Mac.
I do not want to rub your back.
I do not want them on my screen.
Kids would find this stuff obscene!

I do not like pornbots and spam!

I do not like them, Spam-I-am!

You do not like them.
So you say.
Click them! Click them!
And you may.
Click them and you may, I say.

Spam!
If you will let me be,
I will click them.
You will see.

*clicks*

Sam!
I feel like I’ve been hacked!
I do! I feel sick, Spam-I-am!
And you can hack my whole account,
And you can have the whole amount,
I don’t feel myself no more,
I now feel extremely poor.
Why did I click on that link?
Was it the promise of some pink?

I do so hate pornbots and spam!
F**k you!
F**k you,
Spam-I-am!